Where have I been? I'm not sure. It was the long winter/spring of illness around here. Pneumonia, pinkeye, bronchitis, week-long coughs, you name it. I hate writing about things like this because it feels whiny, because I tend to become victimy and I'm trying to keep my head above water and spare you my trials and tribulations. But today finally finally I feel like "fuck the laundry." The house can wait, the pit of dog hair and dirty clothes and toys hidden in every corner can fester for once. Usually what I do is the typical "must clean the house/get my life in order before I can work" routine which leads me to the never-in-the-place-I'm-in zone, i.e. when I'm shooting I think I'm a loser for not cleaning up, and when I'm cleaning up I think I'm a loser for not being more creative. It's a serious mind fuck. From a psychological standpoint it's a nasty gremlin sitting on my shoulder trying to do its best to make sure I can't relax, a sort of sabotage of presence and flow. More and more I'm trying to let go of all that a little bit at a time. So, fuck the laundry.
Ideas have slowly been taking shape and as piecemeal as it's been I'm trying to remind myself that I haven't been doing nothing. Perfectionism wants me to do more but realism has some sympathy for life with kids, and kids who aren't sleeping well at that. Again, I don't want to use it as an excuse to become apathetic, which is easy for me to do, but I'm trying to play nice with my brain. I've managed within all of this to submit a bit, and while I've had a slew of rejections somehow they've been bothering me less. I did get a bit of bolstering feedback from the Center Awards--I entered my new series to Project Launch which is for works-in-progress and while I didn't win, my entry advanced to the third round and was among the top 4% of the work submitted (so close!) I always feel braggy mentioning these things but self-promotion is part of the deal I guess--what I'm really trying to say is that it helps to know that the new project struck enough of a chord to get that far. (Congratulations to all of the winners--for me the most interesting of the winners is the series Canaries by Thilde Jensen which documents people who suffer from chemical sensitivities, you can check it out here.)
Another aspect of note regarding inspiration lately is through Pinterest. Yes, I know the brouhaha about reappropriation of images/terms of service which I'm not going to get into here, but from a curatorial standpoint I'm finding it to be a helpful way to keep track of artistic influences and inspiration. Admittedly I do also upload the typical fashion/decor/meme pins, but my art board is the one that interests me the most. And what I appreciate about Pinterest is how it's simply visual, without any pressure to comment or elaborate (also a drawback in some ways with crediting sources though...). Long story short it's made me realize that I have a longing to dip back into installation, painting and drawing and it has me thinking about a more multimedia approach to some of my ideas. Photography will likely always be my main focus, but branching out might not be a bad idea. Follow me here.