2009--->2010

Another year gone by. 2009 was overwhelming, gratifying, and extremely up-and-down. Now I feel like a certain calm has set in over the last two weeks, a contentment and presence and sense of purpose. For so long I've thought about simplifying and was unwilling or unable to take any steps to get there. I know for some it might be difficult to understand the significance for me of stepping away from Facebook; at its core it really was about what I always seem to circle back to: being present. Social media sucked me away into a land of unreality, where my ego felt primary, and stifling. (I'd like to thank everyone who wrote in with their comments and emails of encouragement--you are the ones who do understand the significance, and for that I'm very grateful.)

On a similar note, in two 2008 wrap-up posts (Threshold and The day after) from last year I waxed extremely (perhaps annoyingly) nostalgic. I was stuck on symbolism: maybe if I wrote what I wanted to let go of on scraps of paper and burned them, or did a sage smudge around my entire house I could eradicate my compulsions, my fears, my anger over the uncontrollable. Slowly, over 365 days, a feeling of acceptance I was only playacting at at first has set in. I feel like loving what is is my only desire for 2010. I want, and can, see myself, James and the girls only for who we are, just as we are. I finally feel able to make the choice to be present in this beautiful, joyful imperfection.

I'll close not with one of my own images, but with a video James made a few weeks ago. It feels to me like just what I've been talking about above: the ordinary seen fully. It seems to be having an impact on others as well--it's been featured on Cool Hunting and went up on the front page of Gizmodo today; you can also watch it on YouTube, or via Vimeo below.

Have a very happy New Year.