threshold |ˈθre sh ˌ(h)ōld|
• [in sing. ] a point of entry or beginning

The New Year--a threshold. We can't help but take stock, even those of us who would like to deny that we make resolutions--we need to look back in order to look forward. Somehow we must believe that crossing the line from this year to that will somehow bestow on us extraordinary powers of strength and commitment--procrastination will be eradicated, our dreams and desires for the best in us will be made manifest. We'll fall back on our old ways soon enough, but we crave the symbol at least, that moment at midnight where we mark the passage of time in order to say goodbye, to reflect, to have an opportunity to let go--even if it means letting go of resolutions. Always I try in these final days of December to hold on to the notion that redemption is in the knowledge that there never can or will be a place where we arrive and are permanently satisfied--life isn't one epiphany from which you can then move on in a fixed state of bliss. It is a series of epiphanies, discoveries, trying not to falter, learning to trust oneself, and a process, always a process--never an end point. If I can see the beauty in that then there's no need to worry. And if I were to admit to a resolution it would be only to treat myself with kindness in the coming year as I continue to learn, as a woman, mother, wife, artist--all of these facets intrinsically linked, informing and shaping each other. Welcome 2009.


Popular Posts